A 40-something wife, mother, and friend who suffers from schizo-affective disorder, D.I.D, and severe P.T.S.D.. I live in the Arizona dessert and spend my time writing poetry, short stories, and working on my great american novel. I am a fan of fantasy, romance, sci-fi and comedy novels. My most favorite novel is The Lord of the Rings and The Chronicles of Narnia and we can't leave out the Dresden Files. I take Mental Illness and my family seriously. Welcome and enjoy.










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Loki's Army





 
25
Dec
no

I am so glad that all my friends had a great and Merry Chirstmas. I saw my mum and Dave her boyfriend. They came for Christmas lunch. We got gran up and I tell mom she’s deteriorating and that she’ not doing good but seeing it face to face sent my mum off with actual feelings of heartsick because her mother is fading.

It’s killing me inside watching her fade. My gran has been a large part of my life for as long as I can remember. But now she doesn’t recognize me, or talk your ear off. She’s very quiet and almost shy. Outgoing and strong my gran was a pillar for my growing years until I was 16 and a half and moved to my dads for a better education and college and the schizophrenic breaks that led to me being sick.

In 2010 I recieved a call from my gran’s baby sister asking if my gran moved to back here to Arizona could I take care of her. She wasn’t expected to life more than two more years. Eight years later she is fading so I spend my time with her.


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17
Dec
Christmas Holidays 2018

So Monday is upon us.  Another week begins and now Christmas is a week away.  I pray that it will be painless.

I see my Doctor Wed, I get my baking supplies Wed.

Fudge, blossoms, reindeer poop, chocolate chip cookies, and maybe Kolachki.

I’m doing okay I guess.  Frustrated, Tired, Hurting.  But I got the laundry almost finished.  I actually get to start sorting through my clothes, Mend, Wash rags, or donate.  I don’t wear much now a days.  Just lounge pants and tee shirts.  

I’m depressed this year.  It’s been a bad year.  I love you all, will write more later.

~Alice


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01
Dec

It’s Christmas Season 2018.  My brain is out of sorts. I see Dr. D in a week or two and we will talk about my aggression issues.  My case manager has been changed yet again, First M got taken and now S is being taken but at least he was kind enough to tell me who my new case manager is.

Today is December 1st, and 


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01
Dec

What doesn’t kill us only makes us stronger.


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31
Dec

2017-logo

 

Starting 1-1-17 look for new content!


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23
Dec

Decorations

There is no Christmas tree.  No lights.  we are just in a sad home with over grown weeds and grassland two saplings for citrus on either side of the front yard.the number stickers faded on the mailbox that needs replaced. our Long dead van sits parked. dead one year.

Christmas just isn’t. with my gran begging for eternal sleep.  when she does go we will be boxing upbeat we need not fruitless junk. we’ll be headed to Minosota.  It’s where my best friend is from and honestly I want out of this damned state.  i’ll miss la frontera but they have a fundamental health system and I will always return to regions hospital.  I was happy with them.

I will miss cookie but her family seems afraid of me. I’m afraid of me.  There will always be cards and pictures passed back and forth.  I’m just starting to talk to my son but I don’t think about what it’s.  Sedona can start interacting with me in April 2017.

Moving to the land of 10,000 lakes will give kevin a better chance at help and better jobs.  after being in state a year I am sure I might ‘ve able to start collage again.  Will have to find out. I want to take writing classes.

Well Christmas is not Christmas but I did make sure everyone got something good. my gran has 3 nightgown a DVD player and coffee mug with cocoa packets.  got my hubby a kindle fire 8 extended warranty and a stand/case/cover, some do dad’s for his gaping, and boxers and teeshirts and Sox.  my loving sister got Jammie lounge pants, a nightgown, 10  bath and body works.  I got myself Jammie pants a nightgown and an amazon gift card.  dixie got a new collar and a rawhide bone.

Hope my birthday is better. cheddar a massive cocktail or two (it’s my 40th)  ‘s one onion rings and something to eat the drive around to the back side and have a movie fest.

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Hatter is with me mishandled calming me down…. thank you for this journey into the world of Alice in Arizona. read more…


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18
Oct

no

I dont like talking to people its very awkward and usually leaves me upset and the rest of rthe group angry.

I am just a moron.


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16
Oct

Diva in the Baby Pool

We are in the mid 80’s and ble skys forever.  Dixie and Diva are saying goodbye to the water in their pool. And this year I think we will purchase ball pit balls to fill it with for winter fun.

My sister purchased a lemon and lime tees fo the front yad.  They are year round producers.  Gran will like to.

It’s dropping into the 60’s at night which makes for beautiful mornings when Dixie goes for her end of night potty trip.

I am looking forward to the cooler weather to helpwith walking tomorrow I gotta go get my meds that are filled.  I am also looking forward to fires in the pit and toasted marshmallows and smores. Camping food packets and desert packets.

They are expecting rain in a week or two and it will be the end to warmer temperatures.


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16
Oct

_1

This is a doh halti.  It is specifically designed to teach your dog not to pull and how to bring about proper leash manners, it was suggested both by my sister who has used them several times and by my vet . Who is worried about her safety when walking.

So far dixie is not unsettled either way.  She still pulls. It will . Take loads of work.

#momfordogsafety

 


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15
Oct

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I’m uping my weight loss game. I have 100# to go to be realistically where I see myself. I have all ready lost 150# over the last two years thanks to my sister who is more health conscious food wise.

She is teaching me better food choices.  So I’m trying to learn.  I was never taught about food and nutrition in school. I tried to teach myself didnt work to well.

I am upping my exercise though. Walking to the grocery store and backis 1.25 miles.  I did it today at a brisk pace took. 20 minutes.

Dixie needs exercise to so I need to figure out her haltie so Iwill have better control. Walking weather is here and all I need is a good pair of tennis shoes and Dixie and I are set. Our car died walking and busses are the option which doesnt bother me. I just dont like doing it alone so dixie will help.

Walking to frys and back at least three times a week to start is good.

unnamed

 


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